could you just listen?

  
Hi, I have a problem.

 Could you be my listening ears?

No, I don’t need you to listen to reply.

I need you to just listen.

No, I don’t need you to tell me

About the time you were in a similar situation;

 It’s depressing.

 I need you to just listen.

 No, I don’t need a solution yet,

 I just want to rant out to you.

 Could you just listen?

Please?

Have you ever been in this situation? Where you just need someone to talk to about the things going on in your life? I feel like I have been there often times than not. Sometimes all I want the other person to do is just to listen. I know the person might want to help, might want to share similar stories to make me know I’m not alone. But at that point, all I need is a listening ear. I also know I have been guilty of not listening to people when they need just that. It’s really not our fault, to be honest. It’s just the instinct to help, to render solutions.

I learned something new. When someone comes to me to rant, I wait. I allow them to pour it all out. And then I ask, “Do you need me to say something?” I tried this out on my friend and guess what? He said, “No thanks, I really just needed to get that off my chest. I’m good now” I know very well that he might not be totally okay but not everyone wants to hear anything at that point. Sometimes, we need space, we need time and we need to get in the right frame of mind. All these, sometimes, because we need to be rational when listening and taking the advice or solutions that we receive.

Now, you may wonder what you’re to do in such situations when you’re not dishing out solutions. Going back to my friend I mentioned earlier; after that, I told him I’d always be there if he needed me and I made sure to check up on him the next day and onwards. That’s it. Reassure them that if they need you or want to hear what you have to say, you’ll be there.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” —Stephen R. Covey.

This here is straight facts! Everyone has a reply waiting for you right at their throat and would not even let you finish before spitting it out. No one wants to take time to digest the information at least and process their thoughts before speaking. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and the person says something that suddenly gets you wondering if Y'all are talking about the same thing? Because, same. This used to be a huge challenge I struggled with, not gon' lie. My mum always scolded me for trying to defend myself whilst she's still speaking. I would not let her get her point across; I just needed to be heard. Well, let's just say my mother is Nigerian and there is something called "manual reset" LOL. To a large extent, now, I try to let the other party speak while I listen AND understand. I'm definitely not the greatest listener still, so join me. Let's make the effort together to listen - just listen.
If I may, let me add this one thing. God is the greatest listener. He loves and respects you so much that he is ever ready to listen. We could make Him our No 1 listener in times when we feel no one wants to just listen, and even beyond.

HAVE YOU EVER WANTED A LISTENING EAR?
DID YOU GET IT?
ARE YOU A GOOD LISTENER?

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Thanks for stopping by,
Nazam💜